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A Mother’s Resilience: Juliet’s Journey to Reunite with Her Children

Gender-based violence (GBV) remains a pervasive issue in Nigeria, affecting countless women and girls across the country. Despite ongoing efforts to combat this scourge, many continue to suffer in silence, enduring physical, emotional, and psychological abuse. The effects of GBV on victims are profound, often leading to long-term trauma, health complications, and a pervasive sense of fear and helplessness. In addition to the immediate harm inflicted, victims frequently face societal stigmatization, further isolating them and complicating their paths to recovery and justice.

In the face of such adversity, the story of Juliet Ngene stands out as a poignant example of resilience and the transformative power of dedicated support systems. Juliet, a mother of five, endured relentless abuse and unfounded accusations from her husband. Her journey, marked by separation from her children and prolonged suffering, highlights the critical role that organizations like the South Saharan Social Development Organization (SSDO) and the National Agency for the Prohibition of Trafficking in Persons (NAPTIP) play in supporting victims of GBV. 

Through their efforts, Juliet was ultimately reunited with her children, showcasing a powerful narrative of hope and recovery amidst the pervasive issue of gender-based violence in Nigeria.

Juliet Ngene is a devoted mother of five and is a tailor. Her husband who is supposed to be the family’s breadwinner is a bricklayer, whose job is seasonal. To make ends meet and support her family, she travels to Onitsha to buy materials which she resells in Enugu. From her proceeds, she caters to feeding and also pays the house rent. Sometimes, she also loans her husband money to help him sort out other bills. 

Things took a harrowing turn when Juliet’s husband’s attitude changed towards her. He became abusive and leveled unfounded accusations against her. 

Due to the nature of her job, she had to make several trips to purchase materials. And as a result on some occasions won’t be able to make it back home. On those occasions, she’d stay with her sister in Onitsha.

“He kept accusing me of sleeping with other people. And he knows I have to make those trips to support the family. I will explain myself to him and that in itself will be a precursor for slaps and heavy beatings,” 

“I have told him that anytime I can’t make it home I’d stay at my sister’s, then come to Enugu the next day. That didn’t seem to help. If I come home late due to the distance, he would insult me that I have gone out with my lovers. I couldn’t do anything right in his eyes,” 

 “No matter what I said, he never believed me. Going home after work became a nightmare,” she shared. His accusations were a pretext for driving Juliet out of their home in Enugu.

The husband reported the case to the kinsmen who summoned the wife and her sister to the meeting. She gave her side of the story which the elders fact-checked with the sister. Despite her honest explanations and the corroboration from her sister, who confirmed she stayed with her during late returns from business trips, her husband remained unyielding. 

Desperate to sever ties, Juliet’s husband took drastic measures. He seized control of the properties, most of which Juliet had purchased, and took their children away. He dispersed the children among his relatives, sending three to Abuja and the two girls, Blessing, 16, and Divine, 11, to his sister in Ngwo, Enugu. For months, Juliet was cut off from her children, unable to contact them or ensure their well-being.

Lost and confused, she decided to visit her husband’s village to complain about his actions. And to also make inquiries and find out where are kids are But this yielded no results.  

Determined to reunite with her children, Juliet traveled to Ngwo upon learning that two of her children were there. What she found was heartbreaking: her daughters were malnourished and poorly cared for. When she attempted to take them with her, her husband threatened her, stating, “If I ever see you close to this place, I will deal with you.”

To worsen matters, she realized that her husband’s sister who had custody of the girls sent one to go and live with someone else in Anambra. SSDO’s Gender Officer discovered this while interviewing the older girl Blessing, “I would have run away from my aunt’s house, but I couldn’t because I didn’t know where my sister was taken to. I was scared and worried for her.” 

Despite the threats, Juliet persisted. Her search for assistance led her to SSDO. The Gender Protection Lead at SSDO connected her with NAPTIP, and together they began the arduous process of reuniting Juliet with her children. By May 23, their relentless efforts bore fruit, and custody of her children was restored to Juliet. 

Juliet’s prolonged struggle was exacerbated by her health issues, which left her bedridden and unable to search for her children sooner. “I was very ill and couldn’t move for days. It was only after my recovery that I could start looking for my children,” she explained.

After two grueling years of separation, malnourishment, and emotional pain, Juliet was finally reunited with her daughters, thanks to the unwavering support of SSDO and NAPTIP. Overwhelmed with gratitude, Juliet expressed, “I cannot appreciate SSDO enough for their efforts. Only God can repay you back. I am very happy and grateful.”

Juliet Ngene’s story underscores the critical role of organizations like SSDO in combating gender-based violence and advocating for the rights and well-being of vulnerable individuals. Her journey from despair to reunion is a powerful reminder of the resilience of the human spirit and the profound impact of compassion and advocacy in transforming lives. 

SSDO PARTICIPATES AND FACILITATES AT GENDER STAKEHOLDER AND SENSITIZATION PROGRAM

South Saharan Social Development Organization participated in a stakeholder meeting and sensitization visit organized by The Ministry of Gender Affairs and Social Development Enugu for Enugu West Senatorial District to deliberate on and map out ways to eliminate Gender Base Violence, Child Abuse and Trafficking and Promotion of Child Education in Enugu State.

SSDO’s Executive Director, Dr. Stanley Ilechukwu, at the stakeholder meeting highlighted the need to engage the local government more on policy reform and formulation as they’re the closest governing body to the people. He emphasized the need to domesticate gender policies by tailoring them for better applicability to suit the needs of rural communities. 

The sensitization visit to Udi LGA was an opportunity to build the capacity of the community on rape, child defilement, Female Genital Mutilation (FGM), and how to report cases of abuse. SSDO’s Gender Programme Lead, Blessing Uchendu, facilitated a session to educate the community on Female Genital Mutilation, its effects, how to report it, and the need for it to be clamped out in its totality. 

Other stakeholders present at the stakeholder meeting include civil society organizations and security agencies.

SSDO Commemorates August Meeting In Three Communities In Enugu And Anambra State. 

The Mother’s Congress, popularly known as August Meeting in Igbo land, is a time when Igbo women from the cities and diaspora return to lend helping hands to their communities. They embark on projects to improve healthcare, peacebuilding, and educate the community.

To show solidarity in projecting and supporting the roles women play in family and community development, South Saharan Social Development Organization, through her Sister Guardian Initiative project, visited three communities to commemorate this year’s August meeting with them. They include; Ibutenze in Udi LGA, Awha Ndiagu in Ezeagu LGA in Enugu state and Omor in Ayamelu LGA in Anambra state.

SSDO Gender and Protection Programme Lead, Blessing Uchendu, and Jacob’s Well Project Officer, Stella Ani, built the capacity of the women on causes and effects of domestic violence against women and girls, how to report it, where to report it and how to follow it up. The team used the medium to create and intensify awareness of women’s rights and the law.

Other pressing issues discussed during the capacity-building event include economic empowerment, political inclusion, violence against women, female genital mutilation, and advocacy. The team also sensitized the women on how to leverage Jacob’s Well platform to grow their businesses. At the end of the training, the women were enlightened on handling issues around gender-based violence.

Empowering Women Through Peer Education Training

Through years of working on projects at the community level, we realize that women and girls are hugely disadvantaged. They have often been marginalized and segregated to the background on so many fronts in society. One of the primary reasons for marginalization is the inequality between men and women in accessing and controlling resources.

Understanding this, South Saharan Social Development Organization, in partnership with ActionAid Nigeria, organized a women’s peer education training in Igga community, Uzo Uwani LGA. The program seeks to foster women’s empowerment through peer education. This initiative aims to advocate for women’s rights and bridge women’s capacity deficiency at the community level.

The three-day training was facilitated by the project lead, Priye West, and SSDO’s Gender Officer, Blessing Uchendu. The training was executed using the Women Peer Education Resource Kit.

During the training sessions, the women expressed how low self-esteem had previously affected their engagement in community activities. They also discussed issues that impacted their emotional well-being within their marriages, such as husbands using harsh words and taking their earnings. They were taught by the team how to identify opportunities provided by the government and how to position themselves to be beneficiaries. 

Education and skill acquisition were discussed, with many young girls expressing concerns about their parents’ reluctance to send them to school, leading to early marriages within the community. This issue was recognized as critical and in need of addressing during advocacy meetings.

The concept of managing post-harvest losses was explained, although many participants lacked the necessary capital to expand their businesses. Climate change issues were addressed, focusing on harmful environmental practices that needed to be rectified. The participants were encouraged to promote inclusivity and support disabled individuals in the community, despite their community having few disabled persons.

The training also covered essential areas such as personal development, health, livelihood and survival, and inclusion. The women were taught the importance of body image, self-esteem, time management, hygiene, skill acquisition, and the dangers of gender-based violence. After the training, the group elected a President.

Sister Guardian Initiative provides Technical Assistance to Orokoro Community

One of the reasons why the rate of gender-based violence is higher in communities is that most rural communities in Nigeria do not have structures to support women facing domestic violence. The little support that exists – pro bono legal services and safe houses can only be accessed in the state capitals.

Understanding these concerns and needs, South Saharan Social Development Organization, SSDO, is implementing the Sister Guardian Initiative to reduce violence at the community level. The program is currently being implemented in 19 Enugu and Anambra state communities. The initiative provides psychosocial support to women and makes referrals to other relevant agencies where necessary.

In March, the Gender Officer and Jacob’s Well Project Officer visited Orokoro community in Isi Uzo LGA to provide technical assistance and supervision. These visits would help monitor the initiative’s progress, build the capacity of the Sister Guardians, and conduct a need assessment evaluation to strengthen the initiative in the target communities.

The women were also sensitized on effective loan repayment strategies and how to scale their businesses. They were educated on how to identify new opportunities for expansion and how to position their businesses to leverage opportunities. The visit was also an avenue for the Gender Officer to mediate and counsel a couple. Helping to broker peace in the family.